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TL;CR MEME
1. Comment with your character.
2. Receive comments from others.
3. Reply to their comments with long ballads and explanations of your characters' relationship throughout the game.
4. Suffer as we have suffered over your CR.
1. Comment with your character.
2. Receive comments from others.
3. Reply to their comments with long ballads and explanations of your characters' relationship throughout the game.
4. Suffer as we have suffered over your CR.
no subject
it definitely contributed to the feeling of beau only really caring about her feelings when it was convenient for her to do so, because natalie's thinking on that was like - sure, she was freaked out, but she couldn't even spare me the consideration to not act like that when she saw exactly how gutted i was the day before? which again is not entirely fair, because she would have had a reaction just as strong if either jason or percy were getting the heat in a trial and she knows it, but she's justifying that fact to herself by basically telling herself "yeah well i ended up being right and they didn't attack him first so if they had killed him in self defense and caught the flack for it in trial i would be right to defend them and beau wasn't right to defend him" which is NOT THE POINT NATALIE PLEASE!! that feeling of betrayal and hurt definitely intensified when the power lists went live, and she didn't have Proof that beau figured he had probably done it and covered for him, but she was definitely assuming that she did based on how beau acted in the trial. she was definitely upset that beau still cared about him after that, but i think the thing that really halted their cr was the way the trial itself went and the assumptions she made about beau's intentions and actions.
the next time they talked was in the emotion share thread, and aaaaaa. there was a lot going on there! because she was still angry with her even when she went to leave the food, but she didn't really speak on that for a variety of reasons. she could tell that beau was going through some shit and didn't want to add to that by lashing out at her again, even though expressing that she was really hurt by the way beau acted in the trial might have helped their cr in the long run. the worst of her anger had cooled by then, so even if the hurt stayed, when beau started telling her she was sorry it was kind of like... the fact that beau was apologizing didn't necessarily help, because natalie felt like she was apologizing for the things nhs did and not the things that beau herself did (BECAUSE NATALIE REFUSED TO TELL HER HOW THOSE THINGS HURT HER, NATALIE PLS), and she didn't know how to walk the tightrope of, like, expressing that beau had really upset her while at the same time dismissing beau's offer of "hey you can hate me if you want i get it". when beau started on the "i can be the bad guy" thing, it actually... kind of had the opposite effect, because she was immediately like "well now i can't tell her that she hurt me because she'll think i think she's the bad guy" which is like. natalie no. please talk about your feelings. still, the honest sympathy and understanding beau gave her in that thread meant they were at least on speaking terms again, even if she never really felt as comfortable speaking with her from that point onwards. the actual emotions they shared definitely had an impact on that - the grief, the stress, the ragged determination were all things that she could understand and connect to, and it helped her feel a little bit closer to beau even if things weren't the same as they were. she didn't really want anyone to understand what she was feeling, even a little, but she was definitely relieved somebody did? which made her feel pretty guilty, even if she never expressed any of that.
they kind of remained at the same level for a few weeks, until the mafia reveal. and honestly, that actually made natalie like her more? which is kind of strange, but. she's not the type to be like "wow thanks for killing people" even if it was something that needed to be done for the sake of everybody, but she definitely understands the burden of making a choice like that and the toll it takes not just on the victim, but on the culprit as well, particularly if the culprit is someone who never would have chosen to kill if they weren't pushed into it. it's really significant that she kind of lowkey offered to use her power even if beau had no idea that's what was happening (she would have explained in full if beau said 'yeah i do wish i could forget' before doing anything with it either way, but), because she's always been kind of horrified by her power for canon reasons that you will see this weekend. during a very early pc with junpei right after she got the power, he basically told her he thought it might help someone move past events they didn't want to remember and she got so righteously angry at the idea that it would ever be a good idea to just make someone forget their trauma and then recall it at the end of the competition, so the fact that she was worried enough about beau to ask if she would want even that temporary respite despite how uncomfortable using the power at all would have made natalie is a Big Deal. she also really respects beau's answer to the question, though, and she's glad she didn't actually have to use it. she also respects that in a lot of ways, she took the fall to help keep people safe, and that she didn't let her guilt force her into an easy out because she knew she just would have been replaced by someone else. like, natalie feels horrible any of that happened to her at all, but she thinks beau probably did the best she could with the circumstances she was given.
in general, she hopes that she can go home and have a happy life with her loved ones from any world! she definitely doesn't think beau deserves to be unhappy even if their cr had some major rocky patches, and she hopes that beau finds it in her to forgive herself for all the things this competition forced her to do.