[i assume you wanted it for that and if you didn't i am sorry this mod was not awake before execution...
after feeding the gray bunny, it will hop down the hallway to the door marked with a new moon, allowing yin yu temporary hallway access to follow it. inside is a standard camp office, with a large desk and a single chair across from it; black shadows is already seated, arms folded on the desk, hood bowed. they look up when yin yu follows the rabbit in, though.]
[ i was going to go for the morning but this is A-okay too!!
which 'person' is which 'leader' is not really relevant. at this moment, he's not particularly comfortable with any of them, and winter has... enough to deal with, at the moment, so he slides in to the one he seemed the most .... socially awkward.... like knows like.
anyway. he does his bow, proper, fist in hand, mask on his face. businesslike. ] ....Hello, sir. I'm sorry to bother you; it won't be long.
I came to ask if you would know where someone might procure a needle and thread.[ ... ] It may become more and more necessary.
[ he nods, and bows again, a bit deeper this time!! ] ...I'm truly thankful, Master Black Shadows.
[ he'd like to ask why they can't provide more, but... well, we all know what happened last time. as he straightens, he tilts his head a bit, though. ] Has your wound been attended to, as well...? If you don't mind me asking.
[ mm. his brows furrow, just for a moment, and he shakes his head. so it just took it out on flayn... ]
...she is very strong. She will be alright. [ that much he knows for sure. ] I do not think she would blame you, either, though I can't truly speak for her.
You have all been forthcoming with answers as well as you could have been. [ ...mm. ] It would be good to know what the limits of asking are, but I don't want to cause you any harm, either, sir.
Have you had visitors like this, before? If that's safe to answer: in terms of people coming from far flung places and times. It is unlikely that I would have ever met someone like Master C3PO, beyond this, for example.
[ having fed the bunnies accordingly, yin yu calls for an audience with shadows in the midday on Monday, making sure to wipe any mud off of his boots before coming to see the director. it's just for a request, but nevertheless, he puts his fist to his hand and bows, politely. ]
Good afternoon, Black Shadows. I was wondering if you could assist me in getting something.
[ yin yu briefly looks black shadows over, eyes flicking to his arm, briefly, but otherwise, doesn't say anything about it. he's masked pretty much as usual, today. ]
...it's a bit of a strange request, but I was wondering if there was a way to acquire a few books.
[ ...he looks maybe a bit sheepish, hand coming up to rub the back of his neck.. ]
Fiction...anything about people’s lives and the way they live them. [ ........ he ducks his head, and mumbles a little quieter: ] Love stories, as well.
Ah. Will try, yes. Restricted in options, but let me see.
[their tone is a little warmer, there. love stories...
give them a second while they reach in their sleeve, seeming to focus. they remove two books, pulling something from each. the first is a basic fantasy novel; the second is, uh, it's a romance novel. have... have fun with that one yin yu.]
Can provide these, for now. Anything else needed?
...if nothing else required, would like to speak of something else with you.
he takes the books from black shadows and bows his head in thanks, moving to set them in one of the larger pouches at his belt. it's the benefit of having ancient china sleeves, u get it.
as he's putting him away, though, black shadows catches his attention. yin yu blinks behind his mask, and tilts his head. ] How can I be of assistance, sir?
[ why would he leave? it's a bit curious, and yin yu watches him --
and then just like that, everything utterly shatters around him.
fuck.
that's the first thing he thinks, every hair on the back of his neck standing up. yin yu freezes, stops breathing for a second, and takes a step backward, stumbling -
please stay, he said.
and like that, he's frozen to the spot. what right does he have to deny this person anything? what right does he have to be a coward? to keep running away from him, just like he did at the island?
he'd thought, during the fight with guy. he'd thought, watching the way he was fighting, how familiar it was. the way guy - who was quite capable - couldn't get a hit off of him, how strong he was. yin yu had thought it for a fleeting second, and then refused even the idea, that maybe it was possible, shoving it down and away from himself as far as he could.
...and now, it turns out he was right all along. anxiety claws at his stomach, chokes up his throat. it's all he can do to say - ] ...Wen Ning. [ slowly, hands curling at his side into tight fists, white knuckles, nails pressing crescents into his palm. ]
[it's him, though he's unsurprised at yin yu's reaction. he remembers the island, remembers how yin yu wanted to just leave the ashes without speaking. remembers the way his voice sounded when he said i killed you.]
I'm sorry. I didn't mean to startle you, but I couldn't...
he has questions--anyone would--but can't just ask them. he wants to run--but he can't. there are so many things running through his head all at once that it's more or less put him into system shutdown, high key panic and anxiety that's keeping him from even opening his mouth.
(at the beginning, he'd felt some camaraderie with black shadows, the only one of the three directors he was really comfortable talking to. the way he seemed awkward and quiet in comparison, the unknown sense of familiarity.
he wasn't wrong.)
he takes a harsh breath to force himself back to reality, fists clenching tighter, staring at this person before him from behind his mask. at least there's that--his face is covered, but it's a flimsy shield between him and black - between him and wen ning. ]
Why? [ yin yu manages, finally, the only thing out of his mouth. it's unspecific. why are you here? why are you participating in this too? why are you talking to me--why do you want to be so kind to me? why are you telling me? ]
[ there are many, many things that yin yu has never successfully made peace with, in his life.
there are even more that he regrets, and some that he will never have the chance to make peace for. he's not sure if even now he wants to do so with quan yizhen, because every lesson that he's learned in this place still hasn't convinced him not to be a complete coward, but... if he can reach out to wen ning, perhaps he can start to think about that, too.
it's a little earlier in the evening when yin yu seeks him out. he's not intending for it to be a long audience, really--a part of him wants to turn tail and run--but he has something of wen ning's, and it's important that he returns it to him.
living in the present moment.
when he spots him - only recognizable because of seeing him on the screens earlier in the week, yin yu lets his presence be known. he's more obvious than usual, all brightly colored feathers, and he pauses, closing his eyes, and takes a deep breath. ]
...young master Wen. [ comes his quiet voice. ] ...May I speak with you for a moment, in private?
[ it's one of yin yu's favorite places in the camp, even... after what happened, and after having been stuck in the costco for a few weeks, this ye olde is quite glad to be back out under the stars.
the walk to the gardens is quiet. it's probably not great for poor wen ning's anxiety, but, yin yu needs that moment to keep himself from consciously running the fuck away like he has from wen ning every single time he sees him. even now, he has to resist the urge, but he's -- he's trying. this is something he has to do.
when they finally reach the gardens themselves is when yin yu stops. he reaches down to his belt, and pulls out something wen ning may recognize - that little brown pouch, cupped in his hands. ]
...These are yours.
[ it's the second time he's held them, now. some things cannot be magically fixed with healing, or with whatever that nightmare snake creature did before it disappeared with its haul.
this time, he doesn't try to set them down, and run. yin yu takes a deep breath, and pushes his fight or flight instinct away at the deja vu. ] They were delivered to the store yesterday, along with a few other things. I thought you would want them back.
[it's not great for his anxiety at all! but yin yu is still here, not running away-- and that, for now, is enough. wen ning can be satisfied with that and with the fact that it feels like his company might be a little more accepted now.
when he pulls out the pouch, though... wen ning's eyes widen, and he reaches out for it without hesitation. he doesn't miss the fact that yin yu's offering them instead of leaving them and running, and there's a slight smile as he holds the pouch close to his chest.]
I'm- sorry I've made you deliver these to me twice, now...
[his bunny ears twitch, drooping just slightly as he shakes his head, but then they straighten once more.]
But I appreciate that-- that you have, Yin Yu. I really can't say how much.
I know how much they must mean to you. [ certainly better than most, really. it was the subject of one of their first conversations - how important ashes were to the dead. when he saw them in that horrible basket, he'd taken them to put on his belt, just like he had what feels like eons ago. in his guilt, he'd sworn to take both his and wen qing's ashes with him, back to ghost city, to try and make things right - not that it would have ever made up for what he'd done.
it's odd to be standing here, staring at this living version of wen ning. he's completely different than the one yin yu faced down in a compelled blur, and completely different than any other one he's seen, since. like this, wen ning looks like a normal, young cultivator, a life that was stolen from him, for one reason or another. in the end, all yin yu did was participate in making that happen again.
he's quiet for a moment, trying to push past the overwhelming flood of emotions, the discomfort. talking about his mistakes, the horrible things that he's done, owning up to them instead of trying to live alone with their guilt tied to his ankle like a shackle, is such a foreign, bizarre process. he's not sure if it makes him feel better, or if it makes him feel worse.
but he has to say something.
yin yu puts his fist to his hand and gives a little bow. it's not as deep as the one he offered the last time they met on the island, and this time, his face is uncovered, so every emotion on his face is as clear and visible as day, the furrow to his brow, the way his mouth pulls taut before he says anything, the visible signs of him holding tight to his composure. ]
...You have been unnecessarily kind to me, all of this time. You, and master Anaido, as well. I do not claim to deserve forgiveness, or ask for it, either, at least - at least for what was done, but... you have long since given it to me. And I have done little to return the favor - always running away from you, even when you sought me out, and showed me your face before you had to. [ him, of all people. ] I am not a good person, nor am I particularly brave. Perhaps if you won't let me apologize for doing it, you will allow me to apologize for being a coward.
[ yin yu will never understand it. the likelihood that he will ever truly forgive himself for anything is incredibly, incredibly low, but he's spent a lot of time here, and gained quite a bit of perspective because of it. maybe he'll never be able to confront quan yizhen, but... maybe, instead of an apology, for wen ning, there's something else that had to be said. ] I'm not sure why, young master Wen, but...I wanted to thank you, for the grace that you have shown me. I have done nothing to deserve that, either.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
W0, POST EXECUTION
after feeding the gray bunny, it will hop down the hallway to the door marked with a new moon, allowing yin yu temporary hallway access to follow it. inside is a standard camp office, with a large desk and a single chair across from it; black shadows is already seated, arms folded on the desk, hood bowed. they look up when yin yu follows the rabbit in, though.]
Yin Yu. Hello.
no subject
which 'person' is which 'leader' is not really relevant. at this moment, he's not particularly comfortable with any of them, and winter has... enough to deal with, at the moment, so he slides in to the one he seemed the most .... socially awkward.... like knows like.
anyway. he does his bow, proper, fist in hand, mask on his face. businesslike. ] ....Hello, sir. I'm sorry to bother you; it won't be long.
I came to ask if you would know where someone might procure a needle and thread.[ ... ] It may become more and more necessary.
no subject
like definitely knows like though... black shadows certainly doesn't mind yin yu's presence, shaking their head slightly at his greeting.]
Not bothering. Am always here to assist.
[and after a moment of thought:]
Can provide, yes. Specific color needed?
[what is this thread for, yin yu.]
no subject
The color isn't important, but a strong fiber like silk would be best. [ there's no sense in not explaining, so. ] It would be used for sutures.
no subject
no subject
[ he'd like to ask why they can't provide more, but... well, we all know what happened last time. as he straightens, he tilts his head a bit, though. ] Has your wound been attended to, as well...? If you don't mind me asking.
no subject
[...they bow their head.]
Hope Flayn is all right, as well. Did not intend for...
[-for her to be hurt because of what they tried to say.]
no subject
...she is very strong. She will be alright. [ that much he knows for sure. ] I do not think she would blame you, either, though I can't truly speak for her.
no subject
[they shake their head, trailing off.]
She is that type. Offered more than was deserved, I think.
no subject
[ could you? he doesn't voice it. ]
no subject
no subject
Have you had visitors like this, before? If that's safe to answer: in terms of people coming from far flung places and times. It is unlikely that I would have ever met someone like Master C3PO, beyond this, for example.
no subject
...no visitors before, no. Has been an adjustment. Much is still new, even if we know of you.
monday week 3
Good afternoon, Black Shadows. I was wondering if you could assist me in getting something.
no subject
[they watch him curiously, one arm folded on the table. the other, they seem to be keeping still-- the one that got struck yesterday.]
no subject
...it's a bit of a strange request, but I was wondering if there was a way to acquire a few books.
no subject
[their hood tilts to the side.]
no subject
Fiction...anything about people’s lives and the way they live them. [ ........ he ducks his head, and mumbles a little quieter: ] Love stories, as well.
no subject
[their tone is a little warmer, there. love stories...
give them a second while they reach in their sleeve, seeming to focus. they remove two books, pulling something from each. the first is a basic fantasy novel; the second is, uh, it's a romance novel. have... have fun with that one yin yu.]
Can provide these, for now. Anything else needed?
...if nothing else required, would like to speak of something else with you.
no subject
he takes the books from black shadows and bows his head in thanks, moving to set them in one of the larger pouches at his belt. it's the benefit of having ancient china sleeves, u get it.
as he's putting him away, though, black shadows catches his attention. yin yu blinks behind his mask, and tilts his head. ] How can I be of assistance, sir?
1/2
but black shadows hesitates before answering him.]
Not of assistance, exactly. Do have one request, though. Please stay.
no subject
and wen ning watches him a little uncertainly, chains attached to his wrists clinking as he lowers his hands.]
... I'm sorry that I had to lie, about myself.
no subject
and then just like that, everything utterly shatters around him.
fuck.
that's the first thing he thinks, every hair on the back of his neck standing up. yin yu freezes, stops breathing for a second, and takes a step backward, stumbling -
please stay, he said.
and like that, he's frozen to the spot. what right does he have to deny this person anything? what right does he have to be a coward? to keep running away from him, just like he did at the island?
he'd thought, during the fight with guy. he'd thought, watching the way he was fighting, how familiar it was. the way guy - who was quite capable - couldn't get a hit off of him, how strong he was. yin yu had thought it for a fleeting second, and then refused even the idea, that maybe it was possible, shoving it down and away from himself as far as he could.
...and now, it turns out he was right all along. anxiety claws at his stomach, chokes up his throat. it's all he can do to say - ] ...Wen Ning. [ slowly, hands curling at his side into tight fists, white knuckles, nails pressing crescents into his palm. ]
no subject
[it's him, though he's unsurprised at yin yu's reaction. he remembers the island, remembers how yin yu wanted to just leave the ashes without speaking. remembers the way his voice sounded when he said i killed you.]
I'm sorry. I didn't mean to startle you, but I couldn't...
[he shakes his head, slightly.]
I didn't want to keep lying to you.
no subject
he has questions--anyone would--but can't just ask them. he wants to run--but he can't. there are so many things running through his head all at once that it's more or less put him into system shutdown, high key panic and anxiety that's keeping him from even opening his mouth.
(at the beginning, he'd felt some camaraderie with black shadows, the only one of the three directors he was really comfortable talking to. the way he seemed awkward and quiet in comparison, the unknown sense of familiarity.
he wasn't wrong.)
he takes a harsh breath to force himself back to reality, fists clenching tighter, staring at this person before him from behind his mask. at least there's that--his face is covered, but it's a flimsy shield between him and black - between him and wen ning. ]
Why? [ yin yu manages, finally, the only thing out of his mouth. it's unspecific. why are you here? why are you participating in this too? why are you talking to me--why do you want to be so kind to me? why are you telling me? ]
w6 post pasta saturday
there are even more that he regrets, and some that he will never have the chance to make peace for. he's not sure if even now he wants to do so with quan yizhen, because every lesson that he's learned in this place still hasn't convinced him not to be a complete coward, but... if he can reach out to wen ning, perhaps he can start to think about that, too.
it's a little earlier in the evening when yin yu seeks him out. he's not intending for it to be a long audience, really--a part of him wants to turn tail and run--but he has something of wen ning's, and it's important that he returns it to him.
living in the present moment.
when he spots him - only recognizable because of seeing him on the screens earlier in the week, yin yu lets his presence be known. he's more obvious than usual, all brightly colored feathers, and he pauses, closing his eyes, and takes a deep breath. ]
...young master Wen. [ comes his quiet voice. ] ...May I speak with you for a moment, in private?
no subject
[wen ning blinks, a little surprised to be addressed-- but then he smiles, offering a small bow before gesturing for yin yu to follow him.]
Are the gardens all right...? Or do you want to go somewhere indoors?
no subject
[ it's one of yin yu's favorite places in the camp, even... after what happened, and after having been stuck in the costco for a few weeks, this ye olde is quite glad to be back out under the stars.
the walk to the gardens is quiet. it's probably not great for poor wen ning's anxiety, but, yin yu needs that moment to keep himself from consciously running the fuck away like he has from wen ning every single time he sees him. even now, he has to resist the urge, but he's -- he's trying. this is something he has to do.
when they finally reach the gardens themselves is when yin yu stops. he reaches down to his belt, and pulls out something wen ning may recognize - that little brown pouch, cupped in his hands. ]
...These are yours.
[ it's the second time he's held them, now. some things cannot be magically fixed with healing, or with whatever that nightmare snake creature did before it disappeared with its haul.
this time, he doesn't try to set them down, and run. yin yu takes a deep breath, and pushes his fight or flight instinct away at the deja vu. ] They were delivered to the store yesterday, along with a few other things. I thought you would want them back.
no subject
when he pulls out the pouch, though... wen ning's eyes widen, and he reaches out for it without hesitation. he doesn't miss the fact that yin yu's offering them instead of leaving them and running, and there's a slight smile as he holds the pouch close to his chest.]
I'm- sorry I've made you deliver these to me twice, now...
[his bunny ears twitch, drooping just slightly as he shakes his head, but then they straighten once more.]
But I appreciate that-- that you have, Yin Yu. I really can't say how much.
no subject
it's odd to be standing here, staring at this living version of wen ning. he's completely different than the one yin yu faced down in a compelled blur, and completely different than any other one he's seen, since. like this, wen ning looks like a normal, young cultivator, a life that was stolen from him, for one reason or another. in the end, all yin yu did was participate in making that happen again.
he's quiet for a moment, trying to push past the overwhelming flood of emotions, the discomfort. talking about his mistakes, the horrible things that he's done, owning up to them instead of trying to live alone with their guilt tied to his ankle like a shackle, is such a foreign, bizarre process. he's not sure if it makes him feel better, or if it makes him feel worse.
but he has to say something.
yin yu puts his fist to his hand and gives a little bow. it's not as deep as the one he offered the last time they met on the island, and this time, his face is uncovered, so every emotion on his face is as clear and visible as day, the furrow to his brow, the way his mouth pulls taut before he says anything, the visible signs of him holding tight to his composure. ]
...You have been unnecessarily kind to me, all of this time. You, and master Anaido, as well. I do not claim to deserve forgiveness, or ask for it, either, at least - at least for what was done, but... you have long since given it to me. And I have done little to return the favor - always running away from you, even when you sought me out, and showed me your face before you had to. [ him, of all people. ] I am not a good person, nor am I particularly brave. Perhaps if you won't let me apologize for doing it, you will allow me to apologize for being a coward.
[ yin yu will never understand it. the likelihood that he will ever truly forgive himself for anything is incredibly, incredibly low, but he's spent a lot of time here, and gained quite a bit of perspective because of it. maybe he'll never be able to confront quan yizhen, but... maybe, instead of an apology, for wen ning, there's something else that had to be said. ] I'm not sure why, young master Wen, but...I wanted to thank you, for the grace that you have shown me. I have done nothing to deserve that, either.