i think, right off the bat, beau really respected giyuu. she likes it when people are blunt and upfront, and so when in like, their first conversation giyuu was basically like, "yes, i orchestrated the murders and it's all on me," and beau's immediate response to that is like, awesome, own it, but don't let it take you over and try to remember the good part of you didn't want to do what you did. which is funny since that advice is the opposite of what she did but listen.
so she starts off with a particularly positive view of giyuu - beau likes the standoffish people! she tends to get along with out outcasts so to speak and she almost immediately pegged giyuu as an outcast, someone who needed a little bit of nudging. she didn't have a full picture of who he was and she wanted to figure that out so she could do her best to bring him into the fold. she never wants people to feel like she did before she met the mighty nein, and she thought that maybe that's how giyuu was. pretty early on beau decided she was going to try and make giyuu see that he didn't have to drown in guilt for what he did on the island, and so a lot of her early conversations with him were trying to lead him to the conclusion of hey, you're a better person than you realize and kind of just, not being able to do it.
and then she got her government assigned murder role and some things changed for her.
a lot of beau's concentration turned to making sure she didn't get caught, after that. she didn't want to die for a lot of reasons - because she didn't want someone else to inherit the role, because she promised wei wuxian she wouldn't, because her friends needed her (specifically phoenix, though - she needed to be here for him because she was afraid of what would happen if she wasn't). so she couldn't focus full on with people who she might have gotten really hands-on "don't hate yourself" with if she hadn't had a role. but even so, she still liked giyuu enough to try and help in her own way.
neither wei wuxian or beau knew there were other roles out killing for the same reason they were, so they assumed that people would just go off and pick off the most suspicious or people who seemed to have the least amount of friends in order to fulfill the weekly kill count. giyuu was at the top of beau's list for protecting because she knew he was honest about his role on the island. she didn't think he deserved to be killed for that, for something that wasn't his conscious decision and for something that happened in a completely different place with different circumstances. so they protected giyuu the first week, knowing that they'd have to go out to fight if someone did pick him. it didn't end up being him, though, obviously.
their hot spring thread was such a good thread because beau got the impression that giyuu was really trying to be a Friend. she appreciated him asking after her, and asking about phoenix (beau loves to talk about phoenix and how great he is, the sap) - and he got some points for that. he also complimented her!! which thoroughly surprised her but it made her happy all the same. she doesn't get a lot of compliments and she knew he didn't give a lot of compliments, so it was a nice bonding moment.
which was a nice thing to have bc then she was reeling after week two's trial and execution; that was the first time she'd killed someone, and she'd gotten away with it. there are a lot of people in this camp that could kill someone no sweat, but... beau is not one of them. not like this, not in this context. she's fought and helped kill bandits and stuff, but that's nothing in comparison to hunting someone down, killing them, and then watching their friends cry the next day. she'd just had a mental breakdown the day before on a person or two, and was desperately trying to find anything to distract herself with.
so she zoomed in because giyuu was injured and had lost an arm, because she got to fuss at someone. it's easier to help other people than to help herself, and like... well, she didn't think she deserved a whole lot of help, anyway. so she tried to help in her own way, which basically just meant she scolded giyuu for standing up while under the influence of missing an arm.
and then he died. which she wasn't expecting to happen. she sent him a letter - sorry we didn't do better for you - because she was sorry. at the time, she did wish they had caught giyuu's killer. and then that was that, until the end.
we've been over the conversation they had through trial for the most part - it was a bad time to try and work through the issue, but beau was still upset because she felt like he wasn't giving her the same amount of chance that he gave the others. the fact that he listened to taako, someone he wasn't really friends with, but wouldn't listen to her, someone she thought she was friends with - that hurt her. and it was especially frustrating for beau, i think, because her impression was that people forgave shinobu immediately; her other impression was that the fact that shinobu took her own life rather than kill someone else made her somehow more morally upstanding to the others (specifically the graveyard). the fact that both shinobu (and flayn, to an extent) seemed like they were getting more of the "this must've been so hard for you," response made beau feel like she was some sort of monster, like people assumed beau was doing it for fun or was less guilt-wracked about it.
it's why she snapped at him - he immediately brought up minako and put her on the defensive because minako is the one she felt the worst about. and then he mentioned he couldn't necessarily forgive shinobu but that he'd stand by her side anyway, and beau just took that as "but not you, though." there was also a lot of "you didn't do enough to solve things, not like minako" laced in that conversation too that she was getting and that felt like another slap.
she gave up because they had to focus on the snake, but. it stuck with her because she'd had similar conversations where in her experience, people were not giving her the same allowances they gave the other killers. also she was super put off by the "I would choose the people who contributed the least" killing strategy because she just does not vibe with that whatsoever.
i think after the conversation they had at the end, she was less... angry? still hurt though. and she didn't lie about them still being friends, but i definitely think she intended to distance herself. for her own sake, mostly, because even though he said he understood after wei wuxian explained more, she's still upset that that is what it took. that he didn't listen to her, first.
so... friends but in that acquaintance "we used to be better but it won't be that way again" way?? weh
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i think, right off the bat, beau really respected giyuu. she likes it when people are blunt and upfront, and so when in like, their first conversation giyuu was basically like, "yes, i orchestrated the murders and it's all on me," and beau's immediate response to that is like, awesome, own it, but don't let it take you over and try to remember the good part of you didn't want to do what you did. which is funny since that advice is the opposite of what she did but listen.
so she starts off with a particularly positive view of giyuu - beau likes the standoffish people! she tends to get along with out outcasts so to speak and she almost immediately pegged giyuu as an outcast, someone who needed a little bit of nudging. she didn't have a full picture of who he was and she wanted to figure that out so she could do her best to bring him into the fold. she never wants people to feel like she did before she met the mighty nein, and she thought that maybe that's how giyuu was. pretty early on beau decided she was going to try and make giyuu see that he didn't have to drown in guilt for what he did on the island, and so a lot of her early conversations with him were trying to lead him to the conclusion of hey, you're a better person than you realize and kind of just, not being able to do it.
and then she got her government assigned murder role and some things changed for her.
a lot of beau's concentration turned to making sure she didn't get caught, after that. she didn't want to die for a lot of reasons - because she didn't want someone else to inherit the role, because she promised wei wuxian she wouldn't, because her friends needed her (specifically phoenix, though - she needed to be here for him because she was afraid of what would happen if she wasn't). so she couldn't focus full on with people who she might have gotten really hands-on "don't hate yourself" with if she hadn't had a role. but even so, she still liked giyuu enough to try and help in her own way.
neither wei wuxian or beau knew there were other roles out killing for the same reason they were, so they assumed that people would just go off and pick off the most suspicious or people who seemed to have the least amount of friends in order to fulfill the weekly kill count. giyuu was at the top of beau's list for protecting because she knew he was honest about his role on the island. she didn't think he deserved to be killed for that, for something that wasn't his conscious decision and for something that happened in a completely different place with different circumstances. so they protected giyuu the first week, knowing that they'd have to go out to fight if someone did pick him. it didn't end up being him, though, obviously.
their hot spring thread was such a good thread because beau got the impression that giyuu was really trying to be a Friend. she appreciated him asking after her, and asking about phoenix (beau loves to talk about phoenix and how great he is, the sap) - and he got some points for that. he also complimented her!! which thoroughly surprised her but it made her happy all the same. she doesn't get a lot of compliments and she knew he didn't give a lot of compliments, so it was a nice bonding moment.
which was a nice thing to have bc then she was reeling after week two's trial and execution; that was the first time she'd killed someone, and she'd gotten away with it. there are a lot of people in this camp that could kill someone no sweat, but... beau is not one of them. not like this, not in this context. she's fought and helped kill bandits and stuff, but that's nothing in comparison to hunting someone down, killing them, and then watching their friends cry the next day. she'd just had a mental breakdown the day before on a person or two, and was desperately trying to find anything to distract herself with.
so she zoomed in because giyuu was injured and had lost an arm, because she got to fuss at someone. it's easier to help other people than to help herself, and like... well, she didn't think she deserved a whole lot of help, anyway. so she tried to help in her own way, which basically just meant she scolded giyuu for standing up while under the influence of missing an arm.
and then he died. which she wasn't expecting to happen. she sent him a letter - sorry we didn't do better for you - because she was sorry. at the time, she did wish they had caught giyuu's killer. and then that was that, until the end.
we've been over the conversation they had through trial for the most part - it was a bad time to try and work through the issue, but beau was still upset because she felt like he wasn't giving her the same amount of chance that he gave the others. the fact that he listened to taako, someone he wasn't really friends with, but wouldn't listen to her, someone she thought she was friends with - that hurt her. and it was especially frustrating for beau, i think, because her impression was that people forgave shinobu immediately; her other impression was that the fact that shinobu took her own life rather than kill someone else made her somehow more morally upstanding to the others (specifically the graveyard). the fact that both shinobu (and flayn, to an extent) seemed like they were getting more of the "this must've been so hard for you," response made beau feel like she was some sort of monster, like people assumed beau was doing it for fun or was less guilt-wracked about it.
it's why she snapped at him - he immediately brought up minako and put her on the defensive because minako is the one she felt the worst about. and then he mentioned he couldn't necessarily forgive shinobu but that he'd stand by her side anyway, and beau just took that as "but not you, though." there was also a lot of "you didn't do enough to solve things, not like minako" laced in that conversation too that she was getting and that felt like another slap.
she gave up because they had to focus on the snake, but. it stuck with her because she'd had similar conversations where in her experience, people were not giving her the same allowances they gave the other killers. also she was super put off by the "I would choose the people who contributed the least" killing strategy because she just does not vibe with that whatsoever.
i think after the conversation they had at the end, she was less... angry? still hurt though. and she didn't lie about them still being friends, but i definitely think she intended to distance herself. for her own sake, mostly, because even though he said he understood after wei wuxian explained more, she's still upset that that is what it took. that he didn't listen to her, first.
so... friends but in that acquaintance "we used to be better but it won't be that way again" way?? weh